forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
