look no pants
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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