i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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