just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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