So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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