honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
