airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
