i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
