if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
