8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
