KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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