She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
