honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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