it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
