these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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