woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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