By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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