I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am available for nakedness
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
