the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
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Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
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drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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