I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
