I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm at about main and main street
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
