god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
