i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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