need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize