A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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