The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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