Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is Oprah even human
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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