Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
