we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
