Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
