we made out on top of his cat.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize