we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
And the cops told us we were all naked.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
