I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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