If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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