One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
