nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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