Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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