I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
