Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
