Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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