so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
