I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
