I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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