But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize