the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
