3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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