in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
