If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im holly from the hills drunk
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize