As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
worst night to have a conscience
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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