Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
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I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
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For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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