so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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