Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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