Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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