: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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