After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
