i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
where am i from again
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I understand Curling. That high.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
