fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
